The Summer Spiral (aka Why I Almost Cried in Target Over a Swimsuit)
Let me paint you a picture.
It’s 104 degrees, in Dallas, Texas. I’m standing in the Target fitting room under those overhead lights that could double as lie detectors, trying on a swimsuit that I want to think would have fit perfectly last year—and this time? It’s not fitting. At all. The mirror’s rude, my thighs are loud, and I’m seconds away from crying.
So, I did what any emotionally stable adult would do.
I left the cart, (the whole cart, sorry Target employees), bought loaded fries (I have a weird obsession with potatoes), sat in my car, and questioned everything while sweating through my tank top.
Welcome to my Summer Spiral.
If you’re anything like me, summer doesn’t always feel like a carefree, sun-kissed movie montage. It feels more like pressure on pressure on pressure. The moment June hits, it’s like the world decides you need to become a better version of yourself—thinner, happier, more social, effortlessly glowing, organized, tanned, parent of the year… and also in the Maldives by the end of July.
Here are a few of my favorite spiral moments from past summers:
That time I declined three pool invites in a row because my swimsuit felt “too clingy,” and I couldn’t find a cover-up that made me feel like Beyoncé and not a tent.
The family BBQ where I spent more time obsessing over whether I looked bloated in my beautiful yellow sundress than actually enjoying the ribs.
That one summer I tried a detox juice cleanse, lasted 6 hours, and ended up sobbing into a bag of Cheetos. (Zero regrets.)
And let’s not forget the bonus spiral themes:
Social burnout – saying yes to every invite because “it’s summer” and then resenting everyone, including yourself.
Financial anxiety – trying to plan a dreamy vacation, but your bank account is like “girl, be serious.”
Mom mode meltdown – where school’s out, your patience is gone, and your kids are asking for snacks every 17 minutes like it’s their full-time job.
Comparison overload – scrolling through reels of people cliff-diving in bikinis while you’re debating if you can get away with wearing pajama shorts to Walmart.
It’s a lot, right?
At The Relationship Clinic, we see this every single summer. What starts out as a harmless “I just want to feel better” can morph into a whole season of self-doubt, guilt, and shame. And here’s the worst part—most people don’t even talk about it. They just suffer quietly, thinking they’re the only ones falling apart in a changing room while holding a bathing suit and their dignity.
But here’s what I want you to know:
You are not behind. You are not broken. And you do not need to earn joy.
You’re allowed to love your body and also struggle with it.
You’re allowed to want rest instead of road trips.
You’re allowed to wear the same $12 tank top from last year and still be the main character.
This summer, I’m choosing something new. No more spiraling. No more disappearing because I don’t “feel ready.”
I’m wearing the dang swimsuit. I’m saying “no” to things that drain me. I’m choosing stretchy clothes, loud laughs, good snacks, and slower days.
And when the spiral creeps in? I remind myself:
“This season is mine too. I deserve peace, joy, and messy, beautiful moments—just as I am.”
Affirmation for today:
I don’t have to be a walking Pinterest board to enjoy my life. I choose ease, joy, and showing up as my whole, beautiful self—exactly as I am
Need support untangling your own summer spiral? The Relationship Clinic is here with zero judgment and a whole lot of compassion (and probably snacks, let’s be honest).
Written by Maureen Mbugua